To Be, Or Not To Be....Not To Be!

You know, at the moment all I want is to be annoyed, but....I shouldn't be. Here's what happened: I went to the doctor that the hospital referred me to, and she turned out to be a family doctor. There was nothing she could do for me! So, she referred me to a stomach specialist. I'll be seeing that doctor December 17th. All of this news, like I said, made me feel annoyed. However, I got myself some froyo, and I am currently pondering the situation and realizing that I can't have it all my way. Yes, it's frustrating, but Heavenly Father is aware of me and I have to remember it's all according to HIS timing....not mine. As much as I would like to get this all fixed right this second, I can't...and there is a reason. 

Needless to say, my feelings of being annoyed are unnecessary. It's hard to put it all in Gods hands, but I'm trying my very best. I know that with Him, it will all work out. 

Always Aware

Heavenly Father has been sending me little reminders lately to let me know He is, in fact, aware of me. I would like to share a few with you! 

First: "I was sick and ye visited me" 

The other day, I was headed out to Utah to spend the weekend with my friends. On my journey, I experienced severe stomach pains...the kind I had when I first got this mysterious sickness. With these pains, I felt prompted to visit a hospital. Naturally, I thought that was the craziest thing ever, and I tried my best to avoid it. I figured maybe I would have my mom set up a doctors appointment for me back in Vegas and then that prompting would go away. Well, it didn't. It only grew stronger. Now it was telling me to turn around and go to a hospital back in Vegas! Soon, I found myself in tears, pulled over and explaining my situation to my mom on the phone. Thankfully, she is incredibly wise and advised me to listen to the Spirit. So, I turned around and headed back to Vegas. I took myself to the hospital and was blessed with the company of my boyfriends amazing mother, Margie. With her help, we met with the doctor an explained everything to him. Turns out this man knew and dated my mother in the past, and was a member of the church. He did an ultrasound on me and gave me some morphine (boy that sure took all the pain away!), but couldn't do much else. He gave me a referral to a different doctor and said he'd let them know my situation. I'll be seeing this doctor next week and we'll be checking out my gall bladder. 

I learned from all of this, that Heavenly Father knew that my patience has dwindled with this sickness and in a way, I had given up on finding a solution. He guided me to a hospital and a plan was created for me to get this figured out. After this event, my stomach pains have continued and been far more frequent than usual. Heavenly father certainly knew this would happen. I'm so grateful for His guiding hand. 

Second: "Comforteth us in all our tribulation" 

Yesterday, my grandpa's 13 year old German Pointer, Tigger, passed away. My grandpa has been living on his own with Tigger and his other dog Penny. These dogs are his everything, his children. Losing Tigger was unexpected and, indeed, sad. My grandpa has told me several times in just 24 hours how thankful he is that I am here with him. Being here with him during this experience has shown me that when Heavenly Father's children are hurting, He finds ways to comfort them. Sometimes that comfort comes from others. I am the thankful one, to be able to help my grandpa feel any kind of comfort and love at this time...Heavenly Father has certainly blessed me with that opportunity. 

Third: "Whether by my own voice, or the voice of my servants, it is the same" 

My grandpa and I were in the middle of watching "Tangled" together this afternoon, when we were visited by the sister missionaries in our ward. Our visit was short and sweet. We talked about life as a missionary, about their backgrounds, and ended with a scripture from Doctrine and Covenants. An event that seemed miniscule at the time, in actuality was exactly what I've been needing. Visiting with them brought back memories of my mission and rekindled that fire inside my soul to share this great message of the restored gospel with anyone and everyone! Missionary work is never over. Striving to live like the Savior is a great way to be a missionary. I'm so glad that I was reminded of that today! Heavenly Father knew I needed to remember the feelings and experiences I had as a missionary so I could work a little harder each day to better myself and share the gospel by being an example to those around me. 

Heavenly Father is constantly guiding our lives. Sometimes we just need to step back and have that "ah-ha" moment where we recognize the small, or big, things He has done and is doing to show us He is there. I'm so glad I have finally noticed the ones He's thrown my way lately. He is mindful of me, He is mindful of you. Count every blessing as they come :) 

ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.

Today in my scripture study, I felt prompted to study Ether in the Book Of Mormon. I read chapter 12, one of my favorites! As I read, I felt so incredibly comforted by the spirit. This chapter is all about having constant faith in God...in every situation. We must continually have faith in Him in hard times, good times, everything! He wants us to trust Him and trust in His plan. Even when it seems like He isn't there, He IS. 

"For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them; wherefore, he showed not himself until after their faith." (Ether 12:12)

God is always there for us, no matter the circumstance. We are His children, and we must strive to exercise constant faith in Him. When we do, He will bless us. I have been learning this for a while now. When I trust in my father in heaven, I am guided to paths of happiness. When we have faith, He can perform miracles in our lives. :) 

Grateful for Gratitude

For the past week or so I've been feeling so much gratitude for everything in my life and everything and everyone around me. Maybe these feelings have something to do with the month of November, haha, I'm not sure! I am, however, grateful for this constant feeling of gratitude. 

I'm finding that I have nothing to complain about! Sure, there are probably things I could ask Heavenly Father to help me out with, but when I begin to ask, lately all I can express is my thanks.

It's such a blessing that we are able to feel so many different feelings, and still come out grateful. We go through hurt, loss, grief, regret, anxiety, confusion...and we also have experiences that bring happiness, peace, comfort, kindness, love, hope, understanding. All of these feelings are necessary and inevitable. 

I am grateful for all moments in my life. I'm grateful for every trial that has come my way, for each one has taught me about who I am and who the Savior Jesus Christ is. I'm grateful for every happy moment I've had in my life as well. Those stick to my bones and remind me just how blessed I am. 

I suppose I'm simply reminiscing today on memories good and not so good, and I'm seeing that all were necessary....necessary to bring me to feel such gratitude. 

Take a moment to reflect on the things that have occurred in your life, and as you do, recall how each experience has changed you. Are you grateful for those changes? You should be :) It's all for a reason. Let every moment make you better. There is so much to be thankful for! 

Silent Night

Tonight I had the opportunity to sing on a cd that my friend Tyler is making for our friend Charlyce. She's on her mission in Virginia and her birthday is coming up this month. I was ecstatic to hear this wonderful idea! He's getting her family and some friends to sing for her, all Christmas songs! How great :) Anyhow, I sang a song in Russian (Away in a Manger) and then a duet of Silent Night with Tyler. As we were doing this, I realized what a blessing it is to have such wonderful people in my life. Heavenly Father knew exactly who I would need in my life, and each one of them I am extremely grateful for. Silent Night, especially this version, is a song that ALWAYS brings the spirit. We each are a part of Heavenly Father and the Saviors plan. The Savior came into this world and died for us. As if that weren't enough, they've blessed us with people that can uplift us and keep us happy. I am so thankful, and I can't wait for charlyce to get this amazing birthday present! I hope she feels the spirit, and the love, that I have felt in just one simple song :) 

Here is the song, I hope you all enjoy it! 

http://youtu.be/CkTPQJggGQs

"Learn Something New Everyday"

Oh what a lovely week I've had so far! In only a few days, I have learned so many lessons! Let me share four with you-

 

Lesson Number One:

"In Good Company"

When you decide to move, and your journey is going to be longer than 10 hours, make sure you have a car buddy who is more than willing to sing along to your fantastic mix of Disney and 90s boy bands. Make sure that this individual is especially good at singing along while "resting their eyes." Bring the kind of person who will make you laugh, poke you annoyingly when you even THINK about getting sleepy, and listen as you share every single thought that flows through the rivers of your mind. 

This person for me, was my best friend and mother. Lots of laughter, tons of screaming our favorite Backstreet Boys songs, many trips down memory lane, several words of advice, and too many pictures taken of someone sleeping! I couldn't have asked for a better car buddy :) 

Lesson Number Two:

"Love What You Do" 

I started working this week, and I have to say....I have NEVER loved a job so much in all my life! I work with superstars of all ages, everyone is so kind and welcoming, the atmosphere is friendly and encouraging, and I look forward to coming to work every day. This job is going to be quite the blessing for me! Matter of fact, it already is. This wonderful place is called Hollywood Kids Academy! It's a theater studio for children, teens and adults. 

Working here is showing me what it is I truly love. Theater! I studied theater for 3 years in Cedar City, Ut., I'll be finishing up my degree here in Vegas next semester, and my dream was actually to open a studio of my own! A studio just like the one I work in now! Teaching children all about acting, singing and dancing teaches them to be confident and creative! Those two things are very important to me. 

However, after coming home from my mission, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do! I came up with all sorts of careers I thought I would enjoy, and I still might enjoy them, but I am learning that I can't push aside my love for the theater and helping children come to love it all as well. So, as I said before, this job has been a blessing to me already! As I try to figure out what path I want to take in life, I have the opportunity to experience the one thing I wanted to do since starting college! 

I love it, and I always hope to love what I do! 

Lesson Number Three: 

"You Are Never Alone" 

This lesson has been one I've learned over and over and over again. Heavenly Father loves to remind me that I am never without love.

It's hard to move away from my family, and an adorable little city I love! But, since I've moved, every day I have had friends and family text me, call me, write me o Facebook, email me...just to see how I am adjusting! What incredible people! It's nice to know that no matter where I am in this world, the people I love are never far away. 

Heavenly Father and the Savior Jesus Christ have also been reminding me of their presence in my life. The other day, I was driving home and I felt prompted to stop at the temple, park there, and just be. Soon enough, I found myself praying. I began to pour out my heart to my Father in Heaven, speaking of things I wasn't even aware I was feeling, and as I did, I knew with every fiber of my being that He was listening to my words. His love is indescribable. I can not fathom how He could love each and every one of us, flaws and all, but He does. Trust me, He does. With this constant love, I know that I am never alone in this world.

This leads right into the last, and most recent, lesson I've learned-

Lesson Number Four: 

"Be Thou Humble" 

Tonight as I prepared myself for bed, I overheard my grandpa speaking to himself in the other room. I played spy for a moment to make sure he was alright, and what I found was a handicapped man wise in years, who has seen and felt much sorrow and affliction in his lifetime, at the edge of his bed, arms folded, thanking his Father in Heaven for this life he has been given. I listened as he prayed for everyone he possibly could, and never once did he pray for himself. As I listened, my heart was filled with light and love and warmth. Today I was far too caught up in my own world. All my thoughts were centered on myself. Then, through a simple grandfathers prayer, I witnessed sincere humility and realized that I needed to be more like that. 

Yes, it's easy to get caught up in ourselves. We are human, we all do it! And we should focus on ourselves at times! But, let's not get so tangled in a web of pride and instead take a moment at the end of each day to reflect on this beautiful life and exactly who has given it to us. We are the creation of a King. I know that He blesses me far more than I feel I deserve, and that knowledge of His constant love and trust in me is encouraging and humbling. 

I can only strive to live up to my duties as royalty...as a daughter of a King. As I do so, I'm certain I will find myself focusing inward yet again, but I also know that every time The Lord will humble me. And in those moments of humility, we allow Heavenly Father to mold us a bit more, to guide us, and to inspire us to become better. 

I am so grateful for these lessons I've learned so far. I needed reminding on how much I value the relationships I have with my family, how exciting it is to finally find something I love to do, that supportive friends..no matter where they are... will always be there for me and keep me from feeling alone, and how with Heavenly Fathers love and our willingness to humble ourselves, the weak will be made strong.

(Check out Ether 12:27 in the Book of Mormon)

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! There are lessons to be learned in every single day. Try to focus on their timing and significance in your life right now! 

Parked Cars and Comfort Zones

It's been a while since I've been home from my mission. Nothing has really been solved, but we are on the path to figuring it out and pretty confident that we will! I've thought a lot about what to do next. Since being home, I have felt as though I was thrown into a room with a thousand doors, but instead of being excited to open a door..I just sat in the middle of the room afraid to open any of them. That's called a "comfort zone" folks! I have loved being here in Washington with my family day in and day out. They make my world a brighter place! I love Washington! But, I am in my comfort zone here. I'm not quite progressing like I hoped I would be. I thought about moving to Orlando and working at Disney World again, but that plan just didn't seem to work out. Then a new plan presented itself! I was blessed with an offer for a great part time job in Vegas by a family I love so much! I prayed long and hard about this opportunity, and everything simply fell into place and felt right. I'll be moving back tomorrow! I'll be staying with my grandpa and keeping him company, working, and starting up school again next semester. I'm excited to finish and finally have my degree! 

After being sent home early from Russia, I have become even more attached than normal to my lovely family, and so this decision has been one that pulls on my heart strings a bit! But, I know that Heavenly Father is directing my life and that if I will put all my trust in Him, I will learn and grow. A wise young lady once advised me, unknowingly, with such words: "Heavenly Father can't drive a parked car! Sometimes we just have to make a move." (Thanks Melany ;)) It's time for me to take another little leap forward and see what He has in store for me! 

Remember: 

"He may know how to succor His people"

Today has been one of those days where I legitimately miss being a missionary. I went through all of my pictures, journals, and little things, and I relived all the memories and moments that molded me into who I am today. I loved being a missionary. I know I served the amount of time that the Lord needed me to serve. Instead of being sad about coming home early, I feel blessed that I was ever even able to experience the things I experienced. Time just isnt relevant.
A song came into my head as I was looking through my things. This song was, and is, my favorite primary song (childrens church song). It's called "My Heavenly Father Loves Me." These are the lyrics:
Whenever I hear the song of a bird,
Or look at the blue, blue sky,
Whenever I feel the rain on my face,
Or the wind as it rushes by.
Whenever I touch a velvet rose,
Or walk by a lilac tree,
I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world,
Heavenly Father's created for me.
He gave me my eyes that I might see,
The color of butterfly wings.
He gave me my ears that I might hear,
The magical sound of things.
He gave me my life, my mind, my heart,
I thank Him reverently,
For all His creations of which I'm a part.
Yes I know Heavenly Father loves me.

As I sang this song in my head, I was reminded of just how much Heavenly Father loves me. I am reminded in the memories I made as a missionary, I am reminded by my loving family and friends, I am reminded in the wind, the rain, the snow and the sun. Everything around me, everything that I am, is all a part of Heavenly Fathers never-ending love. What a blessing that is. Because He loves me, He knows how to "succor" me, or as a very wise young lady once told me.."Succor means run to. So He is running to you." Heavenly Father and the Savior know exactly what I need and when I need it. They know how to push me in the right directions, how and when I feel that overwhelming love, and most importantly...the plan for me. Although I may not be able to see the plan Heavenly Father has for me, I know that He has one. Trusting in Him is something I've had to learn this year....and I know it's something I still need to learn. I am so thankful for the lessons He teaches me and for the kind reminders of His love. I hope that you all look around you and feel His love. It's in everything =]

Breathe In Today

Today I was able to enjoy some time with one of my best friends who is currently serving the Lord. Being around her and her companion was a lovely reminder of what it was like to serve a mission. The spirit that radiated from them both was simply beautiful. After spending time with them, I stood on soft sand while the warm Florida ocean waves kissed my feet. I could feel Heavenly Father's love for me so strongly. For me and for everyone around me. The Earth is such a blessing to us. Often times, I get caught up in my activities and I forget just how beautiful the world around me is. When I stand on a beach, I never forget. I am always reminded and I am always humbled. I needed to spend time around those two amazing sister missionaries this afternoon as well as enjoy those moments on the beach. I needed to be reminded of the things that matter most in this life. The world in which we live, and how we treat one another. Our relationships. Our relationships with everyone around us, ourselves, and most importantly, with our Savior and our Heavenly Father. I came across this quote tonight, that picture down below, and it was also something I needed to see today. My dad has always told my brother and I to "live in the now". I've never really been able to do that! But, my dad is right. If we are looking back, then we can never progress, and if we are looking too far ahead, we will miss the moments as they come. We wont be able to take in the beautiful creations God has given us, nor will we be able to build those relationships that are so important. If you're like me and have a hard time living in the now, think about this picture. Remember that all good things come from God. He wants us to take each day as it comes. Enjoy His creations, love yourself, love those around you. He doesn't want us to look back and dwell on things that we can no longer change, because if we do, then we might get stuck in thought...stuck in regret....but, like it says in this picture--there is something good coming. Have faith in that and just breathe in today.

 

 

 

The "Wonderful Journey"

Today I was studying a talk in the April 2013 General Conference Ensign. The talk I was reading was by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf titled "Your Wonderful Journey Home." Those of you who may not have seen this talk, read it, or even know what the heck I'm talking about, I encourage you to click on the link and read it. It is amazing! 

http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/general-young-women-meeting/2013/03/your-wonderful-journey-home?lang=eng

As I read, there were a few things that really stood out to me. The first of these was that "every life is a collection of individual 'journey stories'." We are all on our own journey. On this journey, we discover who we are. If we pay close enough attention, we are able to see ourselves as our Heavenly Father sees us. Uchtdorf said it perfectly-"He sees you not as the world sees you; He sees who you really are. He looks on your heart. And He loves you because you are His child." 

This has been something I have constantly strived for in my life--To be able to see what God sees in me. So far in my journey, I've discovered a lot about myself. I'll share a little list with you all. Not to be self-absorbed or boastful, but simply to allow you all to get to know me and the person that I have discovered I am thus far: 

• I love everyone that I meet. Honestly. 
• I laugh ALL the time. I even laugh at things that Im certain I shouldn't be laughing at! 
• I smile and say hello to strangers. 
• I apologize a lot. Even when it probably isn't necessary. 
• I become even more of a wannabe disney princess when I'm around children. I fully believe we have so much to learn from children and everyone I come across teaches me something new. 
• I 've learned that every member of my family is not only absolutely hilarious, but they each support and love me no matter what. Family bonds are incredibly important....something I didn't realize as a teenager. 
• I talk a lot. Sometimes, I say the most random things, but I always have an explanation of how my mind took me to that random thought and I am always willing to explain! 
• The ocean is where I feel closest to the Lord. 
• Whatever situation I am in, I will write a song about it. I get lost in a world of my own when I play my guitar, and I've learned over the years that singing, writing, and playing are a constant for me. It's what I truly love to do. 
• I'm not shy! 
• I love to help others see the beauty in themselves. 
• Im extremely claustrophobic and horribly afraid of spiders. I hoped these would fade over time, but they just havent, and I'm certain they never will, so I've accepted them as a part of who I am. Haha
• I always thought I hated snow and only enjoyed the sunshine, but I was very wrong. I've learned to love the snow! It's very enchanting. 
• I like fancy words. 
• I am perfectly content watching Disney movies all day, but also like to be outside hiking, biking, having a picnic, just going for a walk....anything really. 
• Whenever my parents go somewhere, I always go. I always have, even as a child! Even if it's just to the grocery store. I suppose I just enjoy their company =]
• The color yellow makes everything so much better for me. It's definitely become my favorite. Same goes for Daisies. 
• I love to listen to other peoples life stories. Their journeys. 
• I try my very best to always be positive. 
• My nails always have to be painted. 
• My heart loves easily and it breaks easily, but I have discovered that both of those things are good things. Its important to love. Love is the center of everything. The purpose. With love, there is always that risk of a broken heart, but in my experiences, I've learned that those broken moments create a stronger heart, a heart full of even more love. That is surely a blessing. 
• I've learned that hair is just hair. Mine is always changing. 
• I find ballroom dancing absolutely wonderful. 
• I would choose yoga over any exercise ever. 
• I love to wear dresses, long necklaces, and converse. Not always all together. ;]
• I enjoy all types of music, but I really enjoy crooner music. Good ol' Frank Sinatra! 
• I am extremely captivated by willow trees. 
• I love Shakespeare and Greek Mythology. 
• I am a HOPEFUL romantic. I fully believe everyone can find someone to create their own fairytale with. 
• I love musicals and love stories and I don't like watching scary movies. I'd much prefer thinking happy thoughts rather than being terrified to shut my eyes and wash my face in the shower. 
• Speaking of, I am a bath-taker. It makes me feel like a mermaid. Honest reason. 
• I would choose a sandwich shop over every restaurant except The Cracker Barrel. It's my favorite. 
• I love books and reading, but I am always drawn to children's books. 
• I love the smell of coconut. 
• I think curly hair is ALWAYS a yes. 
• I love buildings....old buildings...full of stories. 
• I am fascinated by the Russian language and culture and I am forever grateful I was able to spend time in their country. 
• I have friends I know I was friends with in Heaven...before this life. 

These things are all things I've learned to accept and love about myself. However, the most significant thing I've discovered about myself on my journey through life so far, is that everything in my life leads me back to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Always. Everything I do, everything I am, everything that I will become, is centered on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. For those of you who have known me for many many years....you know that I haven't always been so "religious." I have had my share of mistakes, but I am only human. Everything I have been through, has molded me into the woman I am now. I fully believe that my desire to see myself as Heavenly Father sees me, to look upon my own heart just as He does, has helped me become this person. This is who I truly I am. I am the daughter of a King. All of those things you just read about me are what remind me I am a unique creation of a loving Father in Heaven. We each are. I have had many moments, and will have many more, where I just can't see what He sees in me. I complain and I mess up and I feel a little insecure, but that's okay. Heavenly Father knows me. He created ME. When I feel those negative feelings, I try my best to find the positive. 

Uchtdorf's words from his talk fit perfectly here. He said: 

"There will always be things to complain about-things that don't seem to go quite right. You can spend your days feeling sad, alone, misunderstood, or unwanted. But that isn't the journey you had hoped for, and it's not the journey Heavenly Father sent you to take. Remember, you are truly a daughter of God! 

With this in mind, I invite you to walk confidently and joyfully. Yes, the road has bumps and detours and even some hazards. But don't focus on them. Look for the happiness your Father in Heaven has prepared for you in every step of your journey. Happiness is the destination, but it's also the path. "Peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come" is what He promises. That is why He commands us to "be of good cheer."

In this journey that we are each on, try to "be of good cheer." Look for the positives. As you go along, reflect on the person you are. The person you are becoming. Make a list! You are unique. You are wonderful! This journey can teach you to see yourself as God sees you, but you must open your eyes. 

Shine

This past year has been one of confusion, joy, and self-discovery. In October 2012, I started my journey as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I headed to the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah and prepared myself to serve the Lord in Rostov, Russia. What I wasn't prepared for was the trial I was about to face. My first month out in Russia was amazing! In such a short amount of time, I was able to get the full missionary experience. My companion and I knocked doors, endured the cold and snow, talked to everyone on the streets, met with members and had amazing lessons, and met an incredible woman in a park who we would eventually see get baptized. I have never felt so close to my Father in Heaven. Every day I was reminded that I was His daughter and that I had purpose. My second month, however, seemed to go a little differently. I developed a pneumonia and was stuck in our tiny apartment all month. Suddenly, I felt unimportant, useless. I couldn't understand why I would have to go through this, but I kept my spirits high and my companion and I continued to focus on the daily blessings. Around the end of the month, we were able to go out just to teach our investigator from the park. Meeting with her was the best blessing of all. Every time we met with her, she progressed. It was a beautiful thing to witness!Soon after the pneumonia faded, and just as I was starting to feel like a "real" missionary again, I came right into another trial. My stomach. I spent the next little while going to different doctors, trying different medicines and praying harder than ever. I ended up getting sent back home to America in hopes of solving the mystery. I felt like Heavenly Father had disappeared. I felt alone. I felt confused and even a little angry. Why me? Why can't someone fix me? Why couldn't I have just served a normal mission?I've been home for 6 months and it still hasn't been resolved. Many sleepless nights and countless unanswered questions later, my perspective has changed. I've learned that Heavenly Father is aware of each of us. He knows who we are individually. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses. I wanted nothing more than to serve an 18 month mission for my church, but He had a different plan for me. That was something that was extremely difficult for me to wrap my head around, but I have learned that in every trial we discover more about ourselves. I've always been confident in who I am, but I never really found myself to be a "strong" person. Heavenly Father is showing me with all of this just how strong I truly can be when I put my faith and trust in Him. I'm not exactly sure why I am home from my mission, but I know that while I was there, I grew, I served with my whole heart and soul, and I came to know my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ personally. Since being home, I have changed in more ways than I can even count. I was thrown onto a path of confusion and sadness, but I am coming out of it by leaning on the Savior. I am now more able to see what Heavenly Father sees in me, and my desire to keep it that way is stronger than ever. I know that He has a plan. I know I may not see it, or understand it all now, but in the end, I will. I am grateful for every trial that I have faced in my life. I know that this trial of my health will be something I will learn from and be able to help someone else out with down the road. I also know this is not the last of the trials I will experience, but I know that with the Lord, we can endure all things.I am especially grateful for the opportunity that I had to be a missionary. "Sister Consentine" was the best version of myself but I know that my job as a missionary didn't stop when my name-tag was removed. I will forever strive to share the Gospel with anyone and everyone. If you are currently being faced with a trial that seems to be too much to handle, I pray that you will focus on the small blessings that occur daily. The ones we barely notice. You will see what Heavenly Father is trying to show you if you are willing to see it. He takes great things, great people, and makes them even better. Allow Him to shape you, to change you and to bring you closer to Him. I promise it will all be worth it. Put your trust in Him. Lean on the Savior. Here's a little quote I'd like to leave with you that has helped me: "The stars need a certain darkness to shine." Remember this and push forward. You are a beautiful creation, individually made and known by our loving Father in Heaven.