And then there were 3!

There I was, nice and cozy in my bed, (well, as cozy as a 9 month pregnant woman can be!) when out of nowhere I hear my mom shout "Daniel! Daniel! Hurry I need your help!" We both jumped out of bed, walked out into the hallway, only to be greeted by one of the worst sights we've both ever seen. My Grandpa. Covered in blood. Sitting in his wheelchair in the hallway, with my mom in her robe, hair wet in a towel and panicking. No one really knew what to say or do. I took it upon myself to figure this out! I asked him what had happened and he told me he had been at the park with his dog Titan, and Titan went after another dog and pulled Grandpa right out of his chair. Problem was, he caught his fall with his face! He even passed out for a bit. (Yes.. we were freaking out at this news!) But Gramps being the unbreakable man that he is, told us he just wanted to clean up and that he was fine. No way. We OBVIOUSLY took him to the ER. What a morning, am I right? Oh it doesn't end there.
We're waiting at the ER to get the results back from all his scans and x-rays, when Daniel and I realize we have to head out for my appointment with the baby doctor. So, we leave. This appointment was just the basic check the baby appointment. We'd been having to go twice a week because little man decided to sleep ALL THE TIME, so his heart rate needed to be watched. We go in, they weigh me (I die a little inside and try not to burst into tears), check my vitals, get my belly hooked up to the heart rate monitor, and we wait. Yup, he was sleeping. Two days prior, he had been moving like a crazy person one night (maybe you caught the video I posted?), so I thought he was doing pretty well...and yet here he was, sleeping. However, usually playing "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran would wake him enough to increase that heart rate and give the doctor what he wants, but on this particular day, nothing was waking this tiny human. So we go in to have the ultrasound done, she places it on my belly, scans for a moment, stops right under my ribs and says "Oh! Theres his head!" WHAT DID THIS CHICK JUST SAY?! Oh yeah, I was losing it. My baby flipped! He flipped around! How?! He was head down for MONTHS and then BAM 3 days before the due date, he flips. I had no words. Honestly. In that moment, I knew I was in for all sorts of unexpected.
My doctor comes in and says "Well, looks like the boy has flipped. I'd like to do a cesarean today! Would you like to have your baby tonight at 6?" Yes was what part of me was saying, and the other part was ready to unravel. A C-section?! No way. Dangit!
Soon after all that, I find myself in the hospital all hooked up and ready to go. Ask me if I lost it. Yes, I did. I was a mess! This was SUCH a crazy day! But eventually I calmed down and came to terms with it all. Mostly. I pretty much only came to terms with the fact that I got to meet my son sooner than I was expecting. The C-section thing......I just couldn't get my head around.
When the time finally came, I was lying there on the operating table with Daniel sitting next to me holding my hand, and I said "I don't think I can do this more than once." My husband calmly replied "We can talk about it later, but right now, youre doing great!" A few minutes passed, and finally the doctor says "Dad, would you like to see your son?" Daniel kisses my head, stands up, smiles and then cries. Such a lovely sight, but yet my heart was breaking. I couldnt see my baby! Daniel walks over to the table where several nurses are surrounding the baby. I can barely see the top of his little head. I wanted to scream "MOVE PLEASE! PLEASE LET ME SEE HIM!", but another thought entered my mind--Cry. Come on baby boy, cry. Why isnt he crying?? (turns out the cord had been wrapped around his neck, arm and leg! SO grateful for a c-section!) Just after that, there it was. Hands down the most beautiful and comforting noise I had ever heard. He was crying. My whole body relaxed. Even though I was numb, I sensed it.
Daniel comes back to sit with me, and he tells me how beautiful and perfect he is, and then finally they bring him to me. The nurse held him at my face and I touched his soft cheek. I teared up, but didn't actually cry, instead I just kept thinking "Oh my gosh he is so cute!". In fact, I kept saying that.  As if I was genuinely surprised I had a human baby, and not some alien child. Listen, I WAS surprised. You go 9 months growing a person you cant even see! I dont care what ultrasounds you get done, nothing prepares you for the moment when you actually see your baby. I was totally shocked by his chubby adorableness! So I feel like I had every right to chant the phrase "Hes so cute. I cant believe how cute he is.".
But, all of this bliss I was feeling, was soon taken away and I was alone. Daniel left with the baby and nurses, and I had to stay. Lying there numb. Wondering how much he weighed, and if he has my eyes.
Eventually I get taken back to my room. My mom greets me with tears and words of praise. The nurse says "Would you like to hold your son?" I was terrified. Absolutely terrified. All of the meds had caused me to shake so bad I was practically convulsing. But, I said yes. She placed him on my chest, my little Axel Knight, and suddenly all the fears I'd been dealing with all day just disappeared. He was warm and fit perfectly on top of my heart. He cozied his face in my neck and it didnt even matter that I wasnt staring at his face, he just fit. Everyone was admiring us for a little bit, and then there was a moment where they all had their attention elsewhere and I was finally alone with my son. THAT is when I cried. I cried when no one was watching. I cried at the peace I felt holding my baby. The baby I grew inside of me. He was here. A perfect slice of heaven. It was all worth it.

June 1st, 2015, 8lbs. 9oz,, 20 inches long, and cut out of me right at 6:27pm ;]

Now, I wish I could say it just kept being relaxing and peaceful after we took him home, but...I'm not a liar. The first month was INSANE. I cried so much. There were so many moments in the night where Daniel and I would look at each other and really wonder how people could say " You fall so much more in love when you have a baby" Hahaha! But, we made it. It seemed like we never would, and that the chaos would never end, but it did. For the most part ;P And we ARE more in love. Its the truth. You look at that baby, and you know that its a piece of you and a piece of the person you love most. Its such an indescribable joy!

Having a newborn is hard though, and no one ever tells you how hard it actually is. How you'll cry in the middle of the night thinking you're never going to understand this person, and that youre never going to sleep again. How every little thing worries you more than you ever worried in your whole life.

BUT people also fail to mention just how much you will miss each moment right after it passes. Literally, every moment. How even though the days seem entirely exhausting, you find yourself wishing you could relive every day again, just to hold on to the memories a little better.

Yes, Axel's birthday was a totally crazy day, but its a day I am forever blessed to have experienced. It was the day I became a mother. Watching my baby grow and learn everyday is so fulfilling. I hate the idea of him growing up, but I'm also excited to see where life takes him.

There is no sweeter joy than being someones mommy. Especially, THIS little someone. :)

**Ps. Grandpa is absolutely fine now! Crazy daredevil!