To Be, Or Not To Be....Not To Be!

You know, at the moment all I want is to be annoyed, but....I shouldn't be. Here's what happened: I went to the doctor that the hospital referred me to, and she turned out to be a family doctor. There was nothing she could do for me! So, she referred me to a stomach specialist. I'll be seeing that doctor December 17th. All of this news, like I said, made me feel annoyed. However, I got myself some froyo, and I am currently pondering the situation and realizing that I can't have it all my way. Yes, it's frustrating, but Heavenly Father is aware of me and I have to remember it's all according to HIS timing....not mine. As much as I would like to get this all fixed right this second, I can't...and there is a reason. 

Needless to say, my feelings of being annoyed are unnecessary. It's hard to put it all in Gods hands, but I'm trying my very best. I know that with Him, it will all work out. 

Always Aware

Heavenly Father has been sending me little reminders lately to let me know He is, in fact, aware of me. I would like to share a few with you! 

First: "I was sick and ye visited me" 

The other day, I was headed out to Utah to spend the weekend with my friends. On my journey, I experienced severe stomach pains...the kind I had when I first got this mysterious sickness. With these pains, I felt prompted to visit a hospital. Naturally, I thought that was the craziest thing ever, and I tried my best to avoid it. I figured maybe I would have my mom set up a doctors appointment for me back in Vegas and then that prompting would go away. Well, it didn't. It only grew stronger. Now it was telling me to turn around and go to a hospital back in Vegas! Soon, I found myself in tears, pulled over and explaining my situation to my mom on the phone. Thankfully, she is incredibly wise and advised me to listen to the Spirit. So, I turned around and headed back to Vegas. I took myself to the hospital and was blessed with the company of my boyfriends amazing mother, Margie. With her help, we met with the doctor an explained everything to him. Turns out this man knew and dated my mother in the past, and was a member of the church. He did an ultrasound on me and gave me some morphine (boy that sure took all the pain away!), but couldn't do much else. He gave me a referral to a different doctor and said he'd let them know my situation. I'll be seeing this doctor next week and we'll be checking out my gall bladder. 

I learned from all of this, that Heavenly Father knew that my patience has dwindled with this sickness and in a way, I had given up on finding a solution. He guided me to a hospital and a plan was created for me to get this figured out. After this event, my stomach pains have continued and been far more frequent than usual. Heavenly father certainly knew this would happen. I'm so grateful for His guiding hand. 

Second: "Comforteth us in all our tribulation" 

Yesterday, my grandpa's 13 year old German Pointer, Tigger, passed away. My grandpa has been living on his own with Tigger and his other dog Penny. These dogs are his everything, his children. Losing Tigger was unexpected and, indeed, sad. My grandpa has told me several times in just 24 hours how thankful he is that I am here with him. Being here with him during this experience has shown me that when Heavenly Father's children are hurting, He finds ways to comfort them. Sometimes that comfort comes from others. I am the thankful one, to be able to help my grandpa feel any kind of comfort and love at this time...Heavenly Father has certainly blessed me with that opportunity. 

Third: "Whether by my own voice, or the voice of my servants, it is the same" 

My grandpa and I were in the middle of watching "Tangled" together this afternoon, when we were visited by the sister missionaries in our ward. Our visit was short and sweet. We talked about life as a missionary, about their backgrounds, and ended with a scripture from Doctrine and Covenants. An event that seemed miniscule at the time, in actuality was exactly what I've been needing. Visiting with them brought back memories of my mission and rekindled that fire inside my soul to share this great message of the restored gospel with anyone and everyone! Missionary work is never over. Striving to live like the Savior is a great way to be a missionary. I'm so glad that I was reminded of that today! Heavenly Father knew I needed to remember the feelings and experiences I had as a missionary so I could work a little harder each day to better myself and share the gospel by being an example to those around me. 

Heavenly Father is constantly guiding our lives. Sometimes we just need to step back and have that "ah-ha" moment where we recognize the small, or big, things He has done and is doing to show us He is there. I'm so glad I have finally noticed the ones He's thrown my way lately. He is mindful of me, He is mindful of you. Count every blessing as they come :) 

ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.

Today in my scripture study, I felt prompted to study Ether in the Book Of Mormon. I read chapter 12, one of my favorites! As I read, I felt so incredibly comforted by the spirit. This chapter is all about having constant faith in God...in every situation. We must continually have faith in Him in hard times, good times, everything! He wants us to trust Him and trust in His plan. Even when it seems like He isn't there, He IS. 

"For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them; wherefore, he showed not himself until after their faith." (Ether 12:12)

God is always there for us, no matter the circumstance. We are His children, and we must strive to exercise constant faith in Him. When we do, He will bless us. I have been learning this for a while now. When I trust in my father in heaven, I am guided to paths of happiness. When we have faith, He can perform miracles in our lives. :) 

Grateful for Gratitude

For the past week or so I've been feeling so much gratitude for everything in my life and everything and everyone around me. Maybe these feelings have something to do with the month of November, haha, I'm not sure! I am, however, grateful for this constant feeling of gratitude. 

I'm finding that I have nothing to complain about! Sure, there are probably things I could ask Heavenly Father to help me out with, but when I begin to ask, lately all I can express is my thanks.

It's such a blessing that we are able to feel so many different feelings, and still come out grateful. We go through hurt, loss, grief, regret, anxiety, confusion...and we also have experiences that bring happiness, peace, comfort, kindness, love, hope, understanding. All of these feelings are necessary and inevitable. 

I am grateful for all moments in my life. I'm grateful for every trial that has come my way, for each one has taught me about who I am and who the Savior Jesus Christ is. I'm grateful for every happy moment I've had in my life as well. Those stick to my bones and remind me just how blessed I am. 

I suppose I'm simply reminiscing today on memories good and not so good, and I'm seeing that all were necessary....necessary to bring me to feel such gratitude. 

Take a moment to reflect on the things that have occurred in your life, and as you do, recall how each experience has changed you. Are you grateful for those changes? You should be :) It's all for a reason. Let every moment make you better. There is so much to be thankful for! 

Silent Night

Tonight I had the opportunity to sing on a cd that my friend Tyler is making for our friend Charlyce. She's on her mission in Virginia and her birthday is coming up this month. I was ecstatic to hear this wonderful idea! He's getting her family and some friends to sing for her, all Christmas songs! How great :) Anyhow, I sang a song in Russian (Away in a Manger) and then a duet of Silent Night with Tyler. As we were doing this, I realized what a blessing it is to have such wonderful people in my life. Heavenly Father knew exactly who I would need in my life, and each one of them I am extremely grateful for. Silent Night, especially this version, is a song that ALWAYS brings the spirit. We each are a part of Heavenly Father and the Saviors plan. The Savior came into this world and died for us. As if that weren't enough, they've blessed us with people that can uplift us and keep us happy. I am so thankful, and I can't wait for charlyce to get this amazing birthday present! I hope she feels the spirit, and the love, that I have felt in just one simple song :) 

Here is the song, I hope you all enjoy it! 

http://youtu.be/CkTPQJggGQs